The footer at Penthouse Gold stamps a 2008 copyright date on the joint, which means it’s old as hell in Internet years. I bet all the old fuckers remember the Penthouse name from long before that, though. The brand got its start as an old-school paper porn rag in England way back in 1965, and I know some of you had your first fap to your dad or your grandpa’s copies hidden under his mattress. Before the Internet, these guys were some of the biggest names in the business alongside Playboy and Hustler.
Of course, smut has changed a lot over the last 56 years. The older institutions no longer have nearly the sway they used to, and there are younger masturbators out there who think of Penthouse as an antiquated brand for old guys who need Viagra to stay hard. Maybe they’re onto something or maybe they just don’t know any better. PenthouseGold.com is a modern premium site from one of the most famous brands of twentieth-century filth. Let’s see how it holds up to other modern paysites.
A Modern Take on a Classic Brand
As a guy who reviews different porn sites literally every day, I can’t help noticing the slightly outdated format out front at PenthouseGold. It’s not ugly, but it lacks the in-your-face flash of some of the newer paysites. The logo is classic, but I think even the older masturbators out there will agree that it looks a little old and busted these days. Even some minor tweaks to the color scheme might help bring the layout into the modern era.
General presentation aside, I definitely like all the pretty girls I see all over the page. Penthouse is the kind of established brand models are no doubt eager to be associated with, if only to further their careers. There are top-shelf beauties all over the fucking place. Blake Blossom, the Penthouse Pet of the Month for December 2020, shows off her tits in a fancy-ass grotto pool. Vanna Bardot is on her knees with her ass up, demonstrating how she won the honor in January. Gianna Dior, Nicole Aniston and Gabbie Carter are other recipients of the distinction.
There a thumbnails galore from new flicks with newer starlets like Emily Willis, LaSirena69, Rina Ellis and Clea Gaultier. What I wasn’t expecting was all the vintage babes on the menu. There are Penthouse covers from decades past halfway down the tour page. Take a fap through history with Diana Van Laar (Penthouse Pet from December 1990), Brandi Lee Braxton (December 1994), Nanna Gibson (February 1998), or newer Pets like Nikki Benz (April 2010).
Poking around a bit, I can see that while they do have a lot of VHS-era vintage sex videos in the library, some of the older chicks only have galleries on PenthouseGold. According to the front-page stats, the full site contains over 10,000 videos and galleries. I typically tend to gloss over the galleries on paysites, because nowadays they’re often just auto-generated screengrabs meant to inflate a site’s content numbers. Penthouse is a classic skin rag, though, who originally made a name for themselves with nude photo spreads. The galleries here reflect that timeless still style, and will appeal to true fans of erotic photography.
Another element that might be a throwaway on other sites are the exclusive Penthouse stories. The younger perverts out there probably don’t even know about all the dirty little stories people used to send to the skin mags. Most of them were lies, but goddamn, were they fun to read. I know most of you are going to skip right to the PenthouseGold videos, but I bet grandpa flips through the letters first.
Costlier Than Paper, Cheaper Than Digital
I’ll be honest: I’ve never bought a physical copy of Penthouse. My old man had stacks of them, but we had AOL by the time I was in eighth grade. By the time I was old enough to buy my own smut and willing to shell out for something better than the free sites, the Penthouse brand already felt outdated. Reality porn was taking off in a big way at the start of the 21st century, and the timing of Penthouse Gold’s launch coincides enough that it feels like their attempt to grab back a piece of their former glory.
Now, even though I never bought a copy of the paper magazine, I do remember how expensive physical media could get. A PenthouseGold.com membership falls somewhere in the middle: it’s more expensive than a magazine subscription, but cheaper than most modern paysites. At $25 for the regular membership with lower rates for yearly or 3-month plans, it’s way more economical than trying to track down vintage copies of the originals.
Even if you did have the scratch to buy all the original magazines, VHS tapes and DVDs, you’d be missing out on the updates. PenthouseGold promises exclusive daily updates. A lot of the smaller paysites and even some of the bigger ones have been struggling under the social distancing demands of COVID-19, but what do you know? These classic smut peddlers are still banging them out!
I’ve mentioned the old-school vibes on the site, a vibe that extends to their download policy. While a lot of the newer outfits cut you out or charge you extra to save MP4s, a subscription here includes unlimited streaming and downloads on any devices. The original Penthouse appealed to porn collectors stacking magazines beneath their beds, and Penthouse Gold keeps the tradition alive for perverts who like to keep their hard drive full of masturbatory fodder.
Fresh Penthouse Porn on the Daily
Once I got all signed up and logged in to PenthouseGold.com, it was hard to know where to start. Should I dip into the videos, the galleries, the classic vault or the archive of over 600 Penthouse Pets, both vintage and modern? I figured most of you guys are going to check out the newest movies first, so that’s where I headed.
They ain’t lying about the daily updates. Penthouse Gold has added at least one new movie every day this month. Yesterday they added a new flick with Alex Sanders getting fingercuffed, and the day before that, it was Rina Ellis getting her little Asian pussy stuffed. I decided to start my official fap test with today’s update, starring Clea Gaultier.
I’ve seen too many paysites out there that do daily updates and then skimp out on the length, serving up 3-minute sample packets that barely give you enough time to lube up. That clearly ain’t the case here, as Clea Gaultier’s Threesome Fantasy runs a strong twenty minutes long. I hit Play and the camera panned by London’s Big Ben before showing Clea doing some ballet moves near the water. There’s a sexy little voiceover about how she wants to taste her dance partner, followed by a stylish black and white montage of ballet.
I skipped ahead a few minutes. The music was gone and the color had come back, and Clea had her pretty mouth wrapped around a dude’s boner. She moans and bobs her head, jerking him off and sucking his balls. The girl is fucking gorgeous and clearly loves sausage. Once the dude bends her over a chair and starts hitting it from behind, our third participant strolls in with his dick out.
One of the major elements that always separated Penthouse from Playboy was the hardcore action, which is on clear display here. Instead of just showing off naked ladies in a classy way, Penthouse Gold continues the Penthouse tradition of showing them sucking, fucking, and just generally having a fun, filthy time. By the end of Clea’s movie, she’s got wads of sticky cum dripping all over her face and tits as she cleans up her guy friends with her mouth.
PenthouseGold.com does justice to the classic brand name, bringing them into the modern era with a site that absolutely stands up against modern competition like Brazzers, Reality Kings and Team Skeet. The library takes you on a deep dive with vintage videos and original photo spreads, and keeps it fresh with new movies starring some of the current big names in naked ladies. Something tells me these guys will still be going strong in another 56 years.